Four Newbs, One Game: Slender Sanatorium
by WildWithin
Summary: Ike, Link, Roy, and Pit all decide to sit down and play Slender Sanatorium. At night. In the dark. What could possibly go wrong? Lots. Prepare to laugh your sorry butts off, because this is just... yeah. Link may be delusional.


**A/N: I'm back, guys! Sorry for the long wait, I procrastinated. A lot. Before you get mad, it was mainly due to an idea overload, and I wanted to bash out all the ideas before I forgot them, and this is one of them. The Unexpected Newcomers is still going, I'm almost done with chapter 6, so just hold on! In the meantime, please enjoy this random chiz I came up with one day. This is based off the YouTube series '11 Drunk Guys' but be warned, that series is seriously inappropriate. This is basically that, only not inappropriate, so enjoy!**

**Summary: Ike, Link, Roy, and Pit all sit down and decide to play Slender Sanatorium. At night. In the dark. What could possibly go wrong!? Lots.**

Four Newbs, One Game: Slender Sanatorium

"Get the page! Page! Page! Right there!" Link screeched as Ike grabbed the page and quickly sprinted away.

"Don't die! Dying isn't fun!" Pit added, getting shoved away from the computer by Roy. "Don't die!"

"Shut it! You'll jinx us!" Roy yelled, but it was too late. The camera went static and everyone screamed as Slenderman stood before them, and the video feed cut out entirely.

"You idiot!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Start over! WE LOSE!"

"I'll play next!" Roy bravely volunteered, replacing Ike at the computer. "And don't jinx us!" Pit let out a small whimper and complained as the game started up again.

'Why do we start in the laundry room?" Ike questioned to nobody in particular.

"I DUNNO JUST RUN!" Link hollered, startling Roy and causing the redhead to fumble the mouse. Luckily, Slenderman was nowhere nearby.

"What happens if you beat the game?' Pit asked as Roy grabbed the first page without difficulty.

"We get a gun, and we can kill Slenderman!" Link smirked as Pit's eyes widened at the thought of killing Slenderman.

"OH MAH GAWD A PAGE!" Pit shrieked as loud as angelically possible, and Roy bolted. Without the page. As Pit continued yelling at him to run, Roy turned the corner to find the lion statue. "It' a clue! We can find clues! Read it!" Pit insisted, pointing to the sign engraved in the statue. Roy ensured him that it was only for decoration, but Pit was convinced of its value. Roy turned away and walked down the hall as Pit was saddened as the lost 'clue'.

"Pit, it's not a clue," Ike groaned, watching as Roy found the second page and the music intensified, creeping Pit out.

"I don't like thi-AAAAAAUGH!" The angel shrieked in mortal fear as he spotted Slenderman in the doorway. "He's gonna kill us!" Pit wailed, clinging to the komayto-shaped pillow he had.

"What's your deal!?" Link grabbed Pit by his shoulders and shook some sense back into him.

"I don't do good with horror games!"

"Then why are you here!?"

"I dunno…" Pit hung his head and turned back to the screen.

"What's the point of this game?" Ike asked.

"To not die!" Link answered.

"Third page!" Roy cheered in triumph and dashed out of the room. Seeing no sign of Slenderman, Roy cautiously made his way down the hall as the unnerving music persisted. He entered the washroom again and shifted the mouse slightly to glance at the table.

"Holy crud, those are undies!"

"What?"

"THEY'RE MAH TIGHTIE-WHITIES!"

"You're not making any sense, Link," Pit mumbled as another page was found, and looked away from the screen momentarily. A non-manly scream of "WAAUGH!" brought his attention back as Roy freaked out over Slenderman. He dashed out of the room in fear, getting over his initial reaction.

"For every minute that I stay alive, I get a dollar!" he declared.

"Gimme 20 dollars, gimme 20 dollars!" Link chanted obnoxiously.

"If Slenderman had a sword, what would it be called?" Pit asked out of a random spur of curiosity.

"Soul-Shredder."

"Nightmare."

"Excaliderp."

"Link, we're ignoring you." Right at that moment, Roy was caught by Slenderman, who had been hiding behind the doorway. As everyone got over their initial reactions of screeching and wailing, Pit yelled, "We just got ninja'd be Slenderman. HA!"

Ike took Roy's spot at the computer and the game restarted again. He entered the washroom, passing the table with the underwear on it.

"GET THE TIGHTIE-WHITIES!" Link yelled in an idiotic voice. "THEY'RE HIS ONLY WEAKNESS!"

"YOU'RE DELIRIOUS!"

"SHUT UP!"

"I'M SLENDERMAN'S GIRLFIREND!"

The room went dead silent and everyone stared at Link, whose ears flattened. Ike didn't even notice the camera go static as Link's cheeks blushed bright red.

"Wow, dude. Just… wow," Roy muttered.

"M-My turn," Link stated, and nudged Ike out of the chair. Pit was silently chortling behind the three as the game started for the fourth time. The group watched as Link unknowingly passed the first page. Getting wise, Pit got right behind Link and began making stalker faces. He enjoyed his decision highly when Link didn't realize.

"We need some derpy music!" Roy exclaimed, breaking the silence.

"I have just that! Just let me check my Bottomless Pocket!" Pit yelled, checking his pocket.

"Hey, I'm the one with the Bottomless Pocket!" Link insisted as Pit pulled out a few coins.

"No, not these, or this!" Pit pulled out a yo-yo and set it on the table.

"If you're looking for your mp3, we can just look up some music on YouTube," Ike offered, but pit completely ignored him.

"I've been wondering where I put this!" Pit said, holding up a grenade. Roy inched backwards a bit, not wanting to get accidentally blown up.

"Hey, Link, Slenderman got you," Ike told the unknowing Hylian, who promptly got out of the seat as Pit pulled more stuff out of his pocket.

"This isn't it, either," Pi sighed, setting the Raptor Claws on the table.

"First page!"

"How much stuff is in there?" Roy asked, making sure the weapon wasn't a hologram.

"Um, about as much stuff as Link's Bottomless Pocket holds," Pit explained, fishing out his Aquarius Blade.

"Does anyone realize that I already have two pages?" Ike asked, only to be ignored. He shrugged and walked down the hall, wary of any sign of Slenderman.

"Where is that thing?" Pit frowned, leaning his Palutena Bow against the wall. Link scowled, loking at all the random crud beginning to amass in the room.

"Ugh, this isn't it," Pit sighed, looking over a Fireworks cannon as Roy's mouth fell open.

"Third page, guys!"

"Here it is!"

"Your mp3?"

"No, my Electroshock Arm!" Pit cheered, hefting the gigantic weapon over his head.

"I thought you were looking for your music player!" Ike hollered.

"I was?"

Ike's left eye twitched as Pit shrugged and began picking his things up.

"Who thinks we should dress up as Slenderman and scare everyone?" Roy suggested out of the blue.

"Nobody here's tall enough.' No sooner did Ike finish his statement, Yakety Sax began playing from Pit's ipod.

"RUN YOU FOOLS, RUN!" Pit shrieked, startling everyone and causing Ike to book it down the creepy hallway, hoping not to run into Slenderman. "HE WILL FIND YOU!"

"Pit, what's your problem?" Link asked.

"I dunno, how's your relationship with Slenderman going?" Pit taunted, and the Hylian paled. "I heard it was your one-year anniversary-MMPH!" Link slapped his hand across Pit's mouth, who tumbled backwards into Roy, knocking all three down.

"Who's dating who?" Snake asked, poking his head through the open doorway.

"NONE UV YO BEEZWAX, STALKAH!" Roy shrieked, and Snake slowly backed into the hallway and walked off. The room was plunged into silence, save for the oddly appropriate music playing in the background. Ike collected a fourth page as Pit stood up.

"Dude, I just videotaped this entire thing," Pit announced, revealing the mini-camera hidden in his laurel. Link screamed and tackled the angel to the ground, wanting no evidence of the 'Slenderman's Girlfriend' incident to leave the room. " Dude, chill out, I just wanted to upload this on Smashbook!" Pit cried, causing Link to scream even louder and Roy grabbed him in a vain attempt to separate the two.

"Hey, wait!" Ike intervened, dragging all three apart. "Wanna play Amnesia: The Dark Descent?" Everyone looked at him like he was crazy.

"HECK YEAH! PIT, DON'T STOP TAPING!" Roy yelled.

"Aw, yeah!"

**A/N: Well, I got that out of the way! If you want, I'll make a sequel of them playing Amnesia: The Dark Descent, but I've never played it before and I don't do well with horror games (seriously overactive imagination), so I'll probably fail hilariously. Anyway, I'll be uploading some more random chiz like this, so be warned! I'm known amongst my friends as the creator of many nonsensical things. Hehe. Peace!**


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